How My View of Marriage and Separation Changed

I used to believe marriage was forever, that once you say I do, it means you never let go no matter how hard things get. My dream was simple: to have a complete and happy family. For years, that dream kept me holding on, even when everything inside me was falling apart.

We were together for fourteen years, married for seven. To others, we looked like the perfect couple but people around us only see the smiles not the moments in between. They don't see how slowly things change, how you start to lose yourself trying to hold everything together.

I'm not a perfect wife, I guess nobody is. There were moments when things between us got difficult and I would say things out of frustration, like wanting to separate even if I never truly meant it. I only wanted him to fight for us, to make me feel like our marriage was still worth saving. I guess when love is already fragile, even words said in pain can push two people further apart. But relationships don't fall apart because of one moment or one person. It takes two hearts slowly drifting in different directions. And when he finally decided to let go, I realized that sometimes no matter how much you want to stay, you can't do it alone.

It became one of the most difficult seasons of my life, a time filled with tears, prayers, and questions I didn't know how to answer. I wanted my family to heal. I wanted to feel seen and loved again. But nothing changed, no matter how much I tried.

One night, I realized I had been praying for the wrong thing. Instead of asking God to fix what was already gone, I prayed for strength to surrender what I can't change. I prayed for healing, for myself, for him, and for our children. And I prayed for something I never thought I would, I asked God to take away my love for him. Because I knew it only hurt so much because I still loved him. And little by little, I began to feel lighter. The pain didn't disappear overnight, but my heart started to rest.

I don't claim to know what God truly wants, I think none of us do. But I believe He doesn't want us to live in pain forever. I believe He meets us where we are broken and helps us find peace, even when the path looks nothing like we imagined.

Letting go wasn't just a gift for him. It was also a gift for myself and for my kids. It gave us all a chance to breathe, to heal, and to start again.

For so many years, I forgot that I also deserve to be happy. I poured everything into keeping my family together, not realizing I was slowly losing myself. Freeing him also meant freeing me, giving myself the chance to love myself again, to rebuild the pieces of who I was before the pain.

Letting go became a way of saying to myself: you deserve peace too. And I believe that's something God wants for all of us. Not endless suffering but the courage to seek peace when love has turned into pain.

If someone asks for freedom because they no longer love you or because they want something or someone else, give it to them. Not because you don't care, but because you do. Love doesn't have to mean holding on at all costs. Sometimes, the greatest act of love is to release them, even when it breaks you.

You'll save yourself years of trying to fix what can't be fixed, and you'll give yourself the chance to heal sooner. You'll still grieve, you'll still cry. But one day, the peace that follows will remind you that letting go wasn't your loss. It was your beginning.

The Bible says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) That verse carried me through my darkest nights. It reminded me that even when love ends, His grace doesn't.

So if you're in that place where everything hurts, please know this.. Letting go doesn't mean you stopped loving. It means you're choosing peace over pain. It means you're finally giving yourself the chance to live the life God is gently leading you toward. One filled with peace, healing, and hope.